"Nothing is Impossible, to him who will try"
So, Great Mortal, who did you wish to succeed you?
Did your friends hear you correctly, as you lay dying?
Or was it to the absent companion that you left your legacy?
To kratistoi, or to Krateros?
Both fought, of course, but that latter was among the former.
They raged like the seperate tongues of a fire,
a fire born from your fallen empire.
Only to be put out by their distant cousins.
Yet the battle still rages.
To the Strongest!
The battle to determine the strongest still rages!
Times have changed, but the objective remains.
Your first successors nigh conquered the world, over centuries,
but they were soon broken-like you before them.
And history repeated itself.
Kinsman fought kinsman, and their bones filled the Earth.
The second generation of successors spread themselves out,
empires mightier than any seen before!
But none came close to uniting the world,
as you almost did.
But who have been the true champions of this battle?
Who are those who may claim to be the Strongest?
For millenia, we have supported our kings, our countries.
But our greatest successes were when we overthrew them.
The heroes of your time were immortal,
sons of gods, possessing strength beyond that of any man.
Many of our heroes mimic yours-they are not human, but superhuman.
But who are the greatest heroes of them all?
What is there to say when it is easy?
Do we applaud when a man effortlessly lifts a grain of rice?
Should we adore a god who effortlessly flattens mountains?
Or should we worship it, in wonder, or fear?
Surely the greatest virtue of humanity is to overcome difficulty?
The general, seeking victory in the face of unfavourable odds.
The soldier, risking his life for his beliefs, against darkness.
The commoner, getting by under upward-pointing noses.
Your greatest successors are equivalent to the divinites of your time,
they have the power to destroy worlds.
But what force can fight on equal terms,
than that of Human passion?
The lions are few, the sheep are many,
the lions are superior-but what if the sheep fought back?
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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125,016 Literary Works • 672,851 Reviews
Thanks guys!
"You" is supposed to refer to our ancient ancestors, but it is also addressing one particular megalomaniac. I won't say who, because I want to give readers the option of keeping "you" fairly anonymous, but if you look up Krateros (it appears I spelt that slightly wrong in the poem, but that will soon be fixed), mentioned in the fourth line, it should become fairly obvious (forgive me if I'm wrong on that-as someone who considers history to be one of his greatest passions, I sometimes assume certain things in history are common knowledge when they are not).
Seeing as Explosive Pen likes the lion/sheep metaphor, I will try to make the last two lines into a four line stanza, rather than get rid of them altogether. However, I've got lots of work elsewhere to do (so what was I doing writing this poem? Procrastinating, of course!), so it may take a while.
Hey there.
I really iiked this. It's not often that a poet will go out of the frilly, lacey, flowy style and still get across a message. You've done it. I don't necessarily understand all of it, which is something you might want to look at. Question: Who am I? Am I a person? A nation? Humanity? Also, the last two lines seemed like a bit of an add-on, like you found a metaphor that you liked at the last minute and stuck it on at the end. Either eliminate it, or put in your normal four-line stanza format and put it up higher in the poem. I don't think it should come after the last full verse.
Overall, though, I think it was very successful. I liked it a lot. Keep writing, and I'll keep reading!
Toodles!
Wow. I really liked it. The overall message is really powerful (for lack of a better word). I like your analogy of humans to gods; that we applaud them for doing things that come easily to them, while no one applauds a human for doing easy things. And I especially liked the last lines, with the lions and sheep. Nice metaphor.
The beginning was a bit vague, though. I didn't really catch the meaning at first, but then it hit me like a smack in the face. Anyways, nice poem, and keep up the good work!